All the cool blog names were taken, so my cats, Cooler and Fizler, lent their names. This blog is about our third or fourth mega-trip that Will and I have taken to Vermont every September since the year before Hurricane Katrina.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

What Else Changed?

Not only am I the mother of three sons (in a row!), I also became, since that last post in 2009, a grandmother to three boys in a row!

I am continually amazed by it. My parents have 3 kids, 6 grandkids, and 6 great-grandkids, all but 3 of whom are boys. My family name was in grave danger of dying out. If not for my eldest brother's only son producing two more boys, that branch on the family tree would have withered and died. Now we repeat the process with his kids, but they're still toddlers. And, the world is changing. Who knows if their future partners would be interested in taking on their last name? Who knows if they'll ever marry? It's not that it is so important to keep a name, but it sure is easier keeping up with the genealogy.

I am particularly attached to the last name I was given at birth, which was my father's last name. In 1962, I don't believe there were too many WASPy folks defying that convention. Part of the reason I am attached to it is because I have willingly and somewhat regretfully changed my last name twice in that same tradition. I like to go along to get along. Sometimes. It just wasn't a hill I wanted to die on. I became more attached to it as I got older because it became obvious it was all riding on that one dear nephew of mine. I gave it to one of my kids, as his first name. He doesn't like it. It's not a horrible first name, actually. He just liked his middle name better, and that was the one we were always going to call him, anyway.

I've asked him once or twice if he would have liked it better if I had just kept my last name when I married my partner, and then he could have been named (Current Middle Name) (My Last Name) (Dad's Last Name). He thinks that is an insane idea. He wouldn't have, had I done it, though. It would have been all he'd ever known. I wish I had.

Back to all those boys: Not only am I amazed at how many boys there are, but also at how much I like it. I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to buy little pink dresses, and deal with the emotional output of an estrogen laden baby girl. Sometimes I see a mom and her daughter with their heads together, whispering, confiding, and I feel a little pang of loneliness. But it could very well be that a girl in this family would be the rough and tumble sort, and my learning curve would just be a speed-bump. I was never in close confidence with my mother, so this may be just be a fantasy I cooked up. For sure it points to a general real-life loneliness that I can't seem to shake.

So ya, there are lots of boys around here. That's old news and new news!

2 comments:

Reticula said...

I'm glad I had one of each, but my daughter took me for a hell of a ride before she had a baby herself and realized there was much about me she hadn't considered.

Sue said...

My son has my maiden name for his middle name. Michael Wolfe Patterson. Wolfe being mine. And Patterson being Ron's. He always said that he would have liked Wolfe as his first name. So, the grass is always greener, right?
I get it about that loneliness, Karen. I have daughters that I have done the whispery thing with though. But they outgrow us. So for me, that's where my little twinge of loneliness is coming from. I'm just in transition as they're growing up and out. :/